Some how along the way those of us born in the early eighties got lumped in with the Millennials and seeing as they are know as a somewhat whiny generation that is easily offended and utterly useless without a smart phone I don't necessarily agree with that. I think now that Gen Z has entered the work force maybe the millennials won't look so bad anymore.
In the 90's, you know before the turn of the century, we were known as generation Y and it was much more fitting. Unless you had older siblings the glam bands and hair metal that Gen X loved so much were not something that received airplay. Most of the 80's were looked upon with disdain the sixties and early seventies was the last era of cool. Apathy and depression was all the rage. We didn't need to cut ourselves or change genders, we had drugs, teen pregnancy, grunge music and suicide instead. If you didn't drink and smoke by the time you were in grade eight you were considered a late bloomer, every school had a memorial each year for the ones who never returned after the summer break. To be honest when you watched all the celebrities of the day OD or commit suicide it left you wondering, if life wasn't worth living for someone of that status then what was in it for little old me. I was never planning on making it past 27. But I was supposed to be famous by then.
Instead life took a left turn and while still barely out of childhood myself I became a parent. Family life intervened and I was forced to man up and be a provider. It was all fine and good I'm fairly capable of most tasks except repetition and holding a job for longer than it takes to get it figured out. The whole idea of the futility of it all never left me though. It's still with me to this day, so much of life is just about maintenance. You eat to stay alive and then you gotta wash dishes, you need to go to work to buy the food, but you need a vehicle to get to work, the vehicle needs gas which takes the money you made working. If you're not getting the picture I'm not going to tire my fingers trying to explain it to you. It's a vicious cycle of repetition day in day out. Truth is I'm kind of bored with it all, and I have been for as long as I can remember.
I know, you got the see the wonder and beauty in the little things, to appreciate all the gifts that you have and not take this life for granted. I'm grateful for all that, I watch the sunrise over the ocean every morning, I walk barefoot in the sand at the beach most days. I have a beautiful wife, three grown children, there's food in the refrigerator and gas in my truck, I have no complaints and yet somehow, somedays, it just doesn't feel like its enough. It's like there's this hole inside me that no matter what I try to fill it with it's still there and I don't even know what I want, what would satisfy my cravings, scratch that itch. It's there burning a hole in my pocket just out of reach under my skin and I can't seem to find it. I mean if I can't be happy with what I got then what hope is there that I'll ever be able to…
I blame being brought up in the 90's in the teen suicide capital of Canada but I know that's just a cop out and the truth is there's no such thing as satisfaction with life, you gotta stay hungry to stay alive. So I'll keep scratching, putting out music, waiting for something to hit and then maybe just maybe I'll feel that relief I've been craving since childhood.